We live in a strange timelessness. There is no exact feeling what day of the week is today, and what month. We are not making any plans. News and social networks write about the economic collapse and the victims of the pandemic. We all are into advice on how to get rid of anxiety, panic, what to read, and cook.
I fall asleep and wake up with a clear understanding that I miss: for loved ones, for butterflies in the stomach, pleasant insomnia, and anticipation of magic.
Everyone praises the phone, the Internet, and Facetime, and I don’t like my face in this small phone window. Sometimes, during a conversation, I start looking at myself for new wrinkles, instantly losing interest in the conversation.
I miss letters and post cards that you can carefully send to your friends. I constantly miss by smell, shopping during my promenade. Shopping … it can be something small, an accessory, wallet or hair clip, maybe even a bag or cardholder, underwear or perfume.
My memories are kept in a closet. They hang on hangers or are arranged on shelves. I believe in the energy of things, their ability to evoke our emotions, our memories, and even bring good luck.
For example, I have lucky underwear set in my closet; I will not explain their magic now. I will leave a field for imagination. I can only say: it always works.
I will leave it until better times.
It’s time to sort out in the wardrobe, as well as in your head, which usually happens at the same time. When you are locked in an apartment, you do want to change. But for something new, you always have to clear the way.
Cleaning in this sense, as various gurus teach us, is a useful thing.
The first to come across a small handbag bought in Milan. My first visit to one of the most stylish cities. I wandered through shops and showrooms, museums and streets, ate delicious food, and drank wine. It was one of the strange, beautiful days that will remain in my memory for a lifetime. I love to travel alone, and at that time, I belonged to myself for my first time in Milan!
I tenderly chose the bag in the Coach brand; it is calm shades, small, and on a short chain! This bag always cheers me up and helps me make my outfit A W E S O M E. I again carefully folded it into the boot and moved on.
Nearby is a neatly folded sweater that served me with truth and faith in Nice, then I was blonde and met the sunrises on the Promenade des Anglais. I was in the city for only three days, and my luggage was very minimalistic, a sweater, a dress, and a top with trousers and shoes – loafers that I soaked in seawater. Even now, it seems to me that my hair smells like a sea breeze, just like my sweater. Of course, I took it to the dry cleaner a million times. But memories take their toll!
This sweater warmed me on January evenings, and looking at the stars and breathing in the aromas of the Mediterranean Sea, and I dreamed that the morning would never come. No, I just can’t give this sweater to anyone. It will stay with me.
Another trophy in my wardrobe is a red suit. I have always been attracted by the image of the woman Yves Saint Laurent. I liked the direct provocation in it, the deep cut on the jacket. This suite was remembered by all parties to which my husband and I were invited. I managed to prove myself and be harmonious. I was the only one in such a provocative way; all other guests were in dresses and more classic outfits.
I switched from clothes to shoes. Here are sandals with very high soles caught my eye. I love this pair of shoes very much, not only for their unusual Jacquard print but also for one utterly crazy evening in Cairo, which I spent in them. It all started with invitations to the wedding, and before that, there was a fun party – preparation for the evening in a circle of incredibly beautiful Egyptian women. And a night trip to Hurghada by bus that evening. As always, I was unusually dressed, especially for a bus trip on a night flight, but what difference does it make if I was thrilled and happy to enjoy my condition and beautiful sandals – time to move them to a separate closet for summer clothes.
It looks almost a day to sort out the wardrobe. The unnecessary was thrown away; the most valuable was lovingly laid out and hung in its places. It was a strange sensation, but the melancholy vanished – the lightness of being appeared. Locked in four walls, I felt free. It became clear that this is my conscious choice: to stay at home. It became easier. And I also make a decision when the quarantine is lifted; I am not getting rid of the sweatshirts and T-shirts, joggers in which I have been walking around the apartment for a week. These things will remind me of this time of self-discovery. Loneliness brings you to clean water. As people advanced in esotericism, I clearly understood or say, I caught the insight that adventure awaits me. And somewhere in the back of the closet, dresses are waiting with me – new release and new travels.